I’ve been sad for quite a while now, unfortunately it has morphed into depression. My reason? I have been homesick for a long time now.
Yes, I haven’t actually set foot in my dear country Nigeria for some time. I miss Nigeria and everything in it (from jollof rice down to its blistering unforgiving harmattan sun). But I know for sure, that some day; like the promised second coming of Christ – I will be back home. You might be wondering where I am now, where I am making this post from. Well, I’m in a country not so far from Nigeria, known as and called ‘Naija’ by its inhabitants. Truthfully, how I got here? That I do not know. When I look at the things I go through here in Naija and then compare it to that beautiful country called Nigeria, I sigh and silently curse my misfortune in my mind.
I so want to go back to that country Nigeria; where unlike here in Naija, I don’t have to wake every morning to Bobrisky twerking and assaulting our ear-drums with his own version of English. I want to go to that place, where Patience Ozokwor (our favourite nollywood actress) won’t go through the pains of tasting that poisoned food, she wants to serve someone (just to confirm if the poison settled in the food well) but still manage to stay alive after her victim must have died(haba!!!).
I miss that place where, whenever I buy ‘meat-pie’, that I’m actually guaranteed to see meat in the pie and not garden-egg. I long for that country where I don’t have to go bed, knowing fully well that the first thing I’ll do the next morning is fetch at least ten gallons of water from a place not so far from my house. I want to go to that country Nigeria, where I don’t have to wake up every morning to my neighbour’s terrible, rickety generator noise -which I should mention has been slowly but steadily contributing to decline in function of my ear-drums.
I miss that country, where the old men actually have the conscience to leave the innocent young girls for boys their age; and subsequently retire to the comfort of their villages. I miss that country where workers are paid their salaries when due. I am seriously tired of this country called Naija, like an infant deprived of his/her mother’s breast, I crave for my motherland Nigeria.
You see the other day in this alien land, some fool bought a bottle of water for fifty thousand naira in the club(my brother, the normal price is common hundred naira ooooo!). Just to remind me of how poor I am *sighs heavily*. I miss that country where the rats are not so vicious and savage enough to keep our dear president away from his office for months.
I hope that someday, I get to go back to that country where unlike here, the girls do not have to confuse and deceive we poor souls with fake butt pads(my chest is doing me somehow now).
It’s 1 am now, but I am going to bed. I hope that when I wake up; I might find myself in Nigeria again and not this soul-sucking place where I haven’t been privileged enough to enjoy that beautiful thing called electricity for the past two days.