We all love to hate them. We cringe whenever we come across them. Deriding them is part of our day to day existence. However, for the first time in the history of our country, I’m here to apologize and also thank them. Yep. I just have to. I’m here to say SORRY and also a big THANK YOU to all to those policemen in this country. You know, we hate them so much that sometimes I think we forget that they are also Nigerians too. We shouldn’t forget that they are also fathers/mothers, brothers/sisters, uncles/aunts, nephews/nieces, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, sugar-daddies/sugar-mummies to people out there.
Let me get on with the apologies shaaaa.
On behalf of other disgruntled Nigerians, I apologize to the officers and men of the Nigeria Police Force for the poor training we make them go through in their sorry excuse of an academy before they are finally churned out as half-baked, poorly trained and uncourteous individuals. You see, since the government is too proud to admit their shortcomings and subsequently apologize to these poor officers, I’ve taken it upon myself as a good citizen to make known my regret for the way these people have been handled. If the funds duly allotted to these police training schools aren’t normally siphoned by one pot-bellied person in an air-conditioned office, I wouldn’t have to make this post. These men are poorly trained, therefore, we don’t really have to blame them when they stop our cars and ask us to produce the receipt for the shoe we have on(believe me, these people are savage). We really don’t have to grumble and curse them when they shout, threaten, and point their guns at us for not complying. Please it’s not their fault that they were poorly trained. It just happened. Since they are in Nigeria, it was pre-destined. Trust me, they know not what they are doing.
Also, I want to thank these gentlemen for not killing us. Yep; take a moment and think of it. These men/women are paid peanuts, yet they are armed. You cannot give a sane person a gun and leave the person hungry and underpaid. Because these police officers are good people, they don’t rob us of our properties with their guns, rather they respectfully ask us to ‘roger’ them. They prefer to just extort us instead of beating us up. Because they know the country is hard; offences are ‘settled’ before it gets to the police station. These poor officers are expected to feed their families with the peanuts they are paid, yet they don’t turn on the citizens to rob them… they just extort. Just common extortion and we are complaining.
Oh well…what do I even know sef?

I lost hope in humanity a long time ago. Now sarcasm is my only defense.

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