Has it gotten to that? I mean your poverty-level? Has it gotten to that stage where after evaluating your miserable life; you just thank God that you’re poor after all? Well, if you’re not sure, let me give you a few pointers to help you decide if it has gotten to that point.

*You accompany your friend to the bank to withdraw money. However on getting there, they tell you that banks are on strike (for God knows what). Sadly, your friend can’t withdraw his money. You sigh and silently thank God that you don’t even have one Naira in all your three different bank accounts, so you don’t get to go through all that stress just because you want to withdraw money. Yep, it has gotten to that level my brother; you’re now thanking God for your poverty.

*You leave your house in the morning, knowing fully well that you’re about to trek to your destination. You don’t mind the scorching sun (you keep lying to yourself that it’s not far). You get to a point and you see that there’s a big hold up and the traffic won’t let up any time soon. A little bit further, you notice that your neighbor’s car broke down as a result of over-heating. You sigh again and also thank God that you don’t have a car, so you wouldn’t have to go through the stress of traffic jam and car problems. Brethren, you’re almost at the peak or perhaps the depth of poverty, trust me.

*You’re about to get robbed. The armed robber demands for your phone, you bring out your long-suffering dual-sim Nokia torch phone (it keeps showing you ‘no sim card’, although you have two different sim cards in it). The robber hisses, ignores you and your little bundle of problem, he proceeds to the next person and dispossesses her of her iPhone. Then, right there, your heart jumps for joy; you give praises to the “Almighty” because, since you can’t afford a high end phone, you surely won’t be robbed of your phone. Believe me, you surely need a moment of silence.

*You heard on the news that government is reclaiming lands everywhere in the state, no matter the owner, proof of ownership, certificate of ownership or even the property on it. Again you thank your dim stars that you don’t even own a parcel of land anywhere in the world, so no government would come to claim/revoke the property that you don’t even have.

If your life has gotten to that stage where you thank God for the things you cannot afford because of your poverty; come over to this side let’s take a selfie biko.



Photo Credit: Naij.com

I lost hope in humanity a long time ago. Now sarcasm is my only defense.

3 thoughts on “Thank God!”

  1. *Smiles*, honestly, dis is deep, i swear. I have totally lost hope in humanity too. We just gotta do wat it takes 2 make ourselves happy n if it’s dis type of sarcasm, I’m all 4 it too.

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