Let’s just forget that I’ve been AWOL for awhile. Well, I absolutely have no reasonable explanation nor justification for my absence; but then, I owe no one any explanation for my action (hell! this is NIGERIA!!). Trust me, there are more important things to worry about in this country than my prolonged absence(you best believe!). You doubt? Okay, lemme make a little list:
• Jose Mourinho is still the manager of United. How?! (sighs deeply)
• Small girls with big ‘god’ won’t let us be.
• Game of thrones is still doing us ‘ojoro’ (the more you look, the less you see)
• Ghanaians still argue over the superiority of their jollof (imagine!)
You see, I’m tired of apologizing for things I have no control over; which brings me to today’s topic. I admit we’re helpless in this country, but then; there are still stuff we can change. Chill. I’m not trying to go all inspirational on you neither am I trying to inspire you(i have better things to do). I’m not here to tell you how you can be the change you want (rolls eyes). Actually, what I’m here to shove up your ass is the fact that you haven’t yet gotten your Permanent Voter’s Card (PVC). You. Yes, you! You know voter registration has been on for awhile, but then; you’re too big for that. You can’t stand the stress of standing in the sun or even standing at all just to get a worthless piece of card that’d determine our next set of leaders (Nigeria’s not worth the stress eh?). You’ve accepted the fact that this country is beyond salvation and there’s nothing you can do to change that fate.
Well, I don’t blame you. I understand shaaaa.
But then, I have news for you. Verrrrry saaaaad neeeews. You see the picture of that simpson guy crouched up there like a lost puppy violated by an alsatian. My guy, that will be your fate come 2019 if you don’t get off your comfort zone and go get your PVC. Our next set of leaders? Now that’s something you can definitely influence. I know the naysayers would say that Nigeria doesn’t need saving, that it needs to be left alone, blah blah blah… but deep down, we have to admit that we’re tired of snakes swallowing of monies, we’re tired of the marauding terrorists masquerading as herdsmen, we’re tired executive review of judicial decisions. Hell! We’re tired of unfulfilled promises (I’m still waiting for when 1 dollar will be equal to 1 naira). Simply put, we’re tired of things which we could change by voting out bad leaders or re-electing good ones.
Save yourself the stress of arguing with armchair political analysts over the affairs of this beautiful nation, the stress of going on Twitter or Facebook to rant about the deplorable state of this nation, save your tongue and our ears the stress of cursing these politicians each time we hear about billions unaccounted for.
Get out of bed, take a shower and go get that damn PVC!
I lost hope in humanity a long time ago. Now sarcasm is my only defense.

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