Trust me, it’s a beautiful time to be alive in this country. Never mind that our naira is as worthless as the school certificate we waste years of our lives to acquire and at the end of the day we make no use of it. Nah. Never mind that the miyetti allah (the umbrella body of cattle herders) has suddenly turned into a political pressure group, threatening to impeach the senate president if he doesn’t resign. Nah, that’s not even an issue. Never mind that our beautiful Lagos city , the pride of Nigeria was recently ranked as the third worst city to live in the world; that’s according to the latest 2018 Global Liveability Index released by The Economist Intelligence Unit and World Bank (una papa!). Nah, we don’t care. Never mind that we live in time where people refuse to mind their businesses. Nah.
Notwithstanding all these, it’s still a beautiful time to be alive and Nigerian.
You know, the beautiful thing about being alive in this generation is; people don’t know when to shut up. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has an opinion about anything and everything. You start a conversation, the next thing you know, fian!, everyone turns an expert in that field; doling out unsolicited opinions and views. Take feminism for example, some women who claim to be feminists can’t even spell ‘feminism’ without checking google. Everyone wants to sound intelligent and useful. Brethren, if you have nothing meaningful to say at, please; shut up. Mind your damn business.
This post was inspired after I came across a presenter giving her opinion about an ongoing debate. The debate was about a woman whose husband conspired with their doctor to have her womb removed without her consent because he was done having kids( if that’s not a criminal offense, I don’t know what else to call it ). But you see, the presenter, in her infinite wisdom, instead of shutting up her mouth and minding her business like I’m doing, came on national television to give her unsolicited opinion. Wait for it . . . The presenter was of the opinion that as long as a woman got married to a man traditionally, he has the right to do whatever he wants to do with her. The fuckery!!!!! According to the learned fellow(rolls eyes), it is the culture that we practice. She went further to say ‘. . . we cannot begin to form modernity. We cannot begin to form feminism. Except we want to expunge traditional marriage. . . a man has a right to decide how a woman should look. If he wants her to be slim or fat he would say add weight. He would tell her I have bought you. I own you. So I tell you how you look. I tell you how I want your body to look. I CONTROL YOUR LIFE.’
You wonder why some communities still practice female genital mutilation? That’s your reason right here. People who have absolutely nothing meaningful to contribute, but then; they must contribute. So they come up with the dumbest thing that comes to their minds. Talk about modern day slavery. To make matters worse, this statement came from a woman!!. There’s no justification whatsoever for a husband to take away his wife’s womb without her consent. It’s a fucking marriage! A union!!! Not a master-slave relationship.
But then . . . what do I know?
Lemme mind my business like the guy in the picture.

I lost hope in humanity a long time ago. Now sarcasm is my only defense.

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