Wait, wait wait. Don’t rush me biko! I know is been long I made a post. Yesss so? Some one cannot go for omugwo again? Someone cannot get accident and die and the devil will reject him again? What happened to Jesus Christ? What is the problem, you people like to rush somebody. Any ways I have a problem, a serious problem. That’s why I came back here.
Now if you know you did New Year resolution, come one side. If you did not do, go away I don’t need, gerrout! That’s why our country is like this. Now if you know you did New Year Resolution and you’ve already broken it, come! Come closer, come on don’t fear, who wants to beat you kwanu? Ehen, Oya say cheese!!!
Look don’t blame yourself. Is not your fault if you’ve already broken your New Year Resolution? It is not the devil’s fault either, stop blaming him. The devil is tired, he has retired, he sent me a text last night; that he is no longer doing. Federal Government has not paid him allowee.
Now let us face the real problem. Our problem is Nigeria, yup! You heard me right. You said you will stop drinking ba? No more weed, no coke and not even shisha? Beautiful, that’s a good resolu. But you wake up and you don’t have money to buy garri you will soak in the afternoon, which one is morning food? If your neighbors ask, you tell them you’re an afternoon person, your day starts in the afternoon. Even Jane that sells recharge card is asking you to send recharge card for her because you made a mistake to tell her you like her. Or you were trekking home and remembered you did not drop money for your wife to cook? So you took your last card and bought one bottle of small Guinness, so you will sleep and pray never wake up? Is not your fault my brother, you tried you hear?
Or you made a promise to stop watching porn this year? But you step out from your hostel and all you see are pornstars perambulating your street as if they are going for a porn audition? Even though you locked yourself in door. Common Trace you turned on, all you see are naked women twerking? My brother is not your fault.
Or wait wait you promised to read the Bible more often? To find God but you just can’t help getting stuck on WhatsApp and Instagram. I don’t blame you. It is not your fault. How can it be when we have Rev. Fathers who openly support PMB while priests are being massacred? And your pastors, they will come down from their jeeps with AC and meet you inside hot son and still tell you to be giving? That the lord’s time is near? His father’s time is near nonsense.
Or did you promise yourself to be serious with your studies to read and make good grades. To forget Prisca who keeps sending you bress picture? I won’t blame you if she has already come over and you have press nipple already. Why, is Asuu not on strike? The same federal Government that said it cannot meet their 3 or 4 Billion Naira demand earmarked 50 billion for cattle grazing? What are the grazing? Is not grass? Are the grazing money? Nonsense!
So if you have already broken your New Year Resolution, smile for the camera Jhoor. We cannor come and kill ourselves mbok!